Monday, December 28, 2015

Creativity fills the heart!

Being creative is the greatest gift! 

There is something that Marx was right about that when we became an industrialized society we learned to identify ourself by the product we buy!  Not by the products we make!  

Which was a shift from the society that was before!  In older society's before becoming industrialized your identity was by the product that was made by your hands! 

Marx expressed that when society became industrialized the way we identified ourselfs were by product branding! Because we as a society lost the value of being emotionally connected to our jobs or lost the emotional connection of making something by hand! 

Buying clothing or products are outlets of re-establish personal worth! That's why we are dissatisfied with our jobs! Now a days it's hard to work somewhere where what you do is a product of you! 

There is great value in making something! There is this emotional connection and personal value! I have learned that being creative is where I get full!  There is a sense of wholeness that comes from creating something from just nothing!   That's the power of quilting- piecing- drawing- painting- jewelry making- pottery- designing - writing - poetry or any other form the of creativity! 

Sometimes when I want something to feel full!!! I need to evaluate myself -- have you done anything creative this week? Have you invested in doing something that fills you! (With delight -with joy - and with self worth!)  have you done something with your hands?

Maybe instead of buying something try something new! Like knitting or anything that births creativity! 

Sunday, December 13, 2015


When you give is it out of love? Is it out of debt? (You owe me) or do you give out of obligation?( I'm giving to you,  not because I want to, but because I don't want to look bad or feel bad because you have given to me?!) 

Sometimes I have been given things with the understanding that it was out of love! Then the invisible strings of debt or enslavement are exposed.  Debt is dangerous it can enslave you!  Burden you physically and debt is not out of love but out  of obligation!  

I like doing things out of love!  The bible says that's what never fails. When you do thing out of love it has endurance!  A tangibility that without any expectation!  Real love doesn't enslave!  In doing things for love the reward is in the act of love! 

Check your love! I personally have had to check my love for others! Also the intentions of why I was giving they gift or money I was surrendering!! Is it out of love, debt, or obligations. 

  Sometimes we say we love people but then enslave them!  Hold account of how much we did for them!  Financially requiring payment for debt!  Judging them because they didn't fulfill our standards! They haven't given to me the same amount of value, as I have given or done for them! Then in truth your act of love was really out of enslavement! Which is debt! 

Don't deceive yourselves when you say you love them! Then complain about them! When you say you love them and sit at a table and tell others how they failed you because they won't do what you want! 

Sometime we are selfish as we reason with ourselves! Wanting to control people by giving them something and now expecting, even requiring, them to do what you want!  Your gift was with intention to control them! To own them!  To own their time-to own their future! And the gift giver become the unjust slave owber! 

Obligating people of a debt when we say it is a gift with the mask of love isn't fair!  It's even unjust! To use a gift to manipulate and control someone by obligating them! It is a fraudulent act! 

Recently, I was working on a quilt for a friend!  She asked me to do it for her! There was no way she could pay me! 
Then we worked on a quilt together for a man that was real sick!  She said it was in her heart to do it with me!   Then as time passed on I was still working on her quilt and she said, "Hey why isn't my quilt done?"  Well, her quilt was hand appliqué and those take some time! In her frustration she said, "You owe me! The only reason I worked on that sick mans quilt is because you were doing this quilt!"

 In truth the sick mans quilt she told me initially was in her heart to help! It was discouraging to hear those words from her! Her help wasn't help out of love, it was out of obligation! Unknowingly relieving her help was a chance for her to place in her heart a debt out of obligation against me! 
Lessons I have learn is watch how others give! Before you take becareful! 

When you give cut the invisible standards you require of others! If you have expectations then don't give it! If your going to complain about your effort-help- time- or investment you do for others might as well not do it! 

I have paid my debt to my friend and finished her quilt! Now, I know to never receive her help since it will a request for payment at a later time!  

Sometimes even when you pay your debt off people still expect more! If it was the other way around they would cry foul play? Throwing a tantrum of the injustice! But when they do it it's fair game I'm love and war! Not seeing themselves!

We are in the season of giving! Give out of love- with no expectation-no requirement- freely give!  In truth you would want others to do the same for you! Wanting others to let you live freely and not be a slave of others!  So when you do something it's because you want to! Excited too!  Not because your forced or obligated!!   

God even gives you free will!  Wanting you to surrender your heart- your life to Him out of love not debt! 

He even paid for your debt of sin-- not out of requiring debt back to us but because he know you could never pay the bill!  Out of love for you! He want us to be free! 

So don't let others expectations or standards restrain you! Work hard  to not restrain others yourself! But give out of love and serve others! 

I did this out of love initially, but then it sadly became payment of debt she obligated me with! At least regardless of her heart- I'm free! 

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Fluttering heart banner!

Fluttering hearts 

A while back I had an idea in my head and did a simple drawing!  

Ideas are great, but having the idea become a tangible product is better!  

Many time I have great designs to create in my head and sketch it out and then time passes by and all it is an idea on paper!  

Lately I have been determined to conceptualizer an idea into a existing product!  

So this is the start!  Transferring a picture on to fabric! 

Starting the quilting! 

An idea that has take 2 hours to start and finish!  But it took six months to put to action! I personally think I did a disservice to myself 

The lesson for me is!  Just do it!  Don't hesitate! Don't delay!  Don't over think it!  

If you just start - and believe!  The idea is worth doing and expressing the birth of it for others to see! Other wise it's just an idea! 

Can't wait to paint the fabric and place crystal and bind and hang on a wall like a piece of art! 

Friday, November 27, 2015

Plan to piece a quilt!

Planning for what is next. 

 It's like this quilt!   I took planning and preparation to start! 

Had to find the pattern that caught my eye!  It's not worth doing if the eye isn't inspired!  Picking the fabric that's a journey too! 

 I truly get bored piecing.  I wish the piecing of a quilt was the fun part for me, but its really when the rows start to come together that I start getting the momentum to keep on going. 

Cutting the fabric and then organizing the pattern in my head as I read the instructions.  Honestly this is where its hard for me.  It's like the cramps of the start of a workout.  Everything is tight that the body itself is struggling to move.  That's what starting a new quilt is for me.  Cold and unappealing.  So the pattern has to be exciting and worth the effort to do. 

Once you get one block done you have all ready cut up to close to 500 pieces.  Sewed sections of them and had them piled in stacks and then.  Finally you got one block done.   You already  have so many components to put together.  Then   you can do the second block. Then the third block.  

Still under construction!! Then row 1 is done still not quite there!  When row one and two is done you start to get inspired even like a momentum  to get the quilt top done! 

  Oh when I  got to this place my heart started getting excited! I start to  see the end of a journey.   Then you see row 2 and you realize everything it took to get here was worth it.  

Now this is row three.  I still need to do three more rows then I'm completely done.  It really is like a workout.  When you done sweating and doing things you really don't like doing it in the end you realize hey I'm glad I did it.    

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Brass earrings

Brass earring 
First try and excited with my results! 

A person told me yesterday everything you touch is gold!  It's because I love this wonderful Book it has saved my life! Not because theirs anything good in me, but because a savior simply was willing to die and rise again to save me!  No one can change the light I have experienced because of it! 

Monday, November 2, 2015

Friday, October 23, 2015

How to set goals

Goal setting

I have been working in several quilts and projects.  I am trying this time of my life to finish projects!  Where do you start?  Sometimes I have found that with the over load of responsibilities that I have.  I tend to shut down!  When I'm shut down nothing is getting done!  So I'm trying to create small tangible goals daily to get to the finish line of my goals! 

One of my goals is to finish this beauty! I don't like the feeling of being  stagnant!  I have had this quilt sitting around and I determined to find a way for me to get motivated!   It's overwhelming to think how much work needs to be done to be finished!  So I have given myself small tangible goals!  This quilt has 
Diamond segments so my goal is to at least quilt one segment a week!  

It really did seem to work!  Now I'm half way done and regardless of the work ahead all I have to worry about each week is one segment !   To rejoice in that accomplishment! 

I seem to think that when I get to the end is when I should be happy! The truth is the journey... is where is the greatest joy is.  If I allow myself to feel content accomplishing small goals! 

So this week I finished 2 diamond segments! It's better to do a little at a time before you know! I will have the quilt completed!  

Appreciate the small accomplishment !! To rejoice there!  
Is also a goal I'm setting for myself! 

Still at it!!

Wanting to finish and 
Setting some goals!

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Sunday, September 13, 2015



Sometime I sit and watch people and how they live their lives!  I have  some that live a tragic  life where nothing is good and the problems in their life are elements that were beyond their control!  

Under the pressure they have others rescue them from the environment they themselves created!  What I have noticed is the blind actor of their own life don't see they were the ones that set the stage! They cry and complain as victims of a life they had no choice in and express wearily their dismay.  Wanting everyone to play in their Shakespeare play.   They are dramatic in their endeavors.  

Me a rescuer and enabler have played in theses plays, but my part was the helper. A Shepherd, a rescuer, a want to be healer, and me the dismayed for the tortured actor!  Entered the play and Became a set up player! 

 I didn't know the actor was the creater of their own harm till I was in their storm.   
Overcome by their destructive ways now I was in the way!   Forced to follow the scrip that the tortured had me follow.    

Then one day I wanted out of the play! Overcome and arrested by the insanity I experienced as scene set before me unfolded.  I realized that that the victim was not a victim but the victimizer!  They were their own creater of the play!  They loved living this way!  Addicted to tragedy!  Addicted to self will- rebellious not wanting to take responsibility blaming  everybody.  Blind because they refuse  to see!  That the mess is them!  The problem is them! The drama is them!  

It was a set up placed before me the enemy used my family to try to destroy me!  He knew I was gullible, a rescuer, and enablers.  He knew I wouldn't see the truth with the tears and the wounded before me! That the love I have for them would keep me from holding them accountable! 

Satan knew that either way my heart would suffer!  "Check mate" he would say to me!  If you don't help your evil to not be a part of their play!  If you enter the play I will used them -them you love to destroy you! Either way I got you!  
Rescuer -the enabler in you!  I have you! 

Enabler I say to you- like I had to say to myself-! Each person has the life they choose to live! You are only responsible for yours and yours alone!  When I make a mess in my life I have to clean it up! That's what responsible people do!  If that is an expectation for yourself!  Why do we not require it for others?  Stop rescuing those that love suffering and tragedy! If you keep rescuing them how will they learn to rescue themselves?  

Don't be a pawn on their chess board! You don't have to participate in their game! 

Making spines with a prospine ruler

Friday, September 4, 2015

Free sew day

I had a great time with one of my sewing buddies!  The other day!

She is really into Halloween which I'm not to fond of but in honor of her favorite holiday!   I made her this!!

It tolder her now you can say, "you have a black heart! "

I love her humor and snarky remarks!   It was a really great time, getting together, chatting, and sewing.  While we are bantering back and forth!  

She loved the heart and even my humor behind it!  It was stuffed with black fabric and scraps strips she had from her Halloween fabric.  It fit the occasion and the funniness of hanging around with a great friend who can take and dish dark humor!  

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Fill my heart

Fill my heart

 I had some old quilted fabric that I just can't seem to throw away and decided to try to make this heart.  For my first draft at trying to make this heart it came out pretty well.   I'm going to make some more, but I learned some things about myself in this journey of making. 
When I first made the heart and turned it right side out it looked odd.  I was even going to throw it away disappointed with the result.   I think sometimes I give up on myself too easily.  When I initially start something and it doesn't produce the result I saw in my head.  I just leave it alone.  I guess naturally we want success in our first result, but success does really come from not getting the result you wanted in the first try. 
As I started stuffing the heart and pushing that batting into those rounded areas.  The heart  started to become what I envisioned.   The more I stuffed the heart the better it got. 

The heart is symbolic to love.  With love their are concepts of joy, being satisfied, content, or even places of rest.  Never does love have the concept of suffering, loose, or devastation. At least not in the advertising world.

 In the world love is only easy.  I think that's why divorce is so easy for people to do.  I will love you when you are, what I want.  I don't want to suffer or endure loose being married to you.   Oh yeah when your not what I want.  I will look somewhere else.   I do think that is kind of love is foolish.  It doesn't count the cost of real love.  It looks like love, feels like it, but in truth its a lie.       

Real love endures much suffering.  Real love the bible says never fails.  Real love loves even when its not loved.  Real love will love you even when your not what you should be.  Real love wants the best for even its enemy.  Love doesn't want evil for others, because it will not defile itself with hate. 

Real love encompass all these concepts?  The feeling of joy, but without suffering or enduring its not real.  I have learned that the greatest love has come through suffering.  It was when I delivered my first born.  Their was suffering, but without suffering.  I would of never experienced the greatest love.   

Sometimes with my family I have been hated.  I have learned despite them, I will love them.  Even if it is  from afar.  Hoping for the best regardless of the words, opinions, slander, or gossiping words.   Their behavior doesn't matter.  I have to choose who I want to be full of in my heart. 

Hate is like a sickness that is so easily to get infected by.  It has energy and force that fills the space with weight.  It is heavy and burdensome.  Those that feed off of it are limited by its self destructive force.  Like a ticking time bomb who knows when it will destroy and how far its depths will it devastate the land of peoples heart that it infiltrates.  Hate is like a house that has been bombed.  The air is contaminated and devastation of loose cannot be seen.  911 is a concept of hate.   Those that hate don't know the harm they cause.  They lash with their tongue and devour people with their words.  Like a raging bear hungry to tear the flesh and destroy its victim.     Hate has many victims, but hate doesn't take responsibility for its wrong.  Hate blames everyone for why it hates. 

Love I have learned is light.  Bright and vibrant and even in suffering enduring.  Refusing to go bitter.   Learning from wrongs and those it wronged.  Making sure you fill my heart with what truly expands the experience of life.  To love despite others.  To Love regardless of getting what we want.  To love so that we may be full. 

I had a brother that went through great moments of suffering.  Seeing him smile and continue to be present in my life.  I saw great love through him.  He was handicap and incapable to do anything.  Reliant on humans who are vicious, hateful, and even evil.  He had no control over his life.  He couldn't feed himself, couldn't even talk, or  walk.   I saw his suffering and how he was rejected.  I would go see him.  He made sure he smiled.  Through him I learned the concept of great love.  That regardless of your condition, or physical limitations, or even place of living it doesn't determine the freedom you are inside.   To some he was a nothing.  To me he was everything.  I learned from him.  He was wonderful to behold!  He has been a great example of love, suffering, endurance, and persistence among great tribulation.  He choose to love and smile. 

Their are always great examples of who we should be.  I think the community of the handicap and the rejected of our society.  Are those that can teach us the greater lesson of what real greatness is and what real love looks like.   That is if we are looking for a real love?! 

Real love is sometimes right in front of you!  If we are not careful we will not see the beauty and the opportunity to learn from it. Because we are deceived by societies concept of love, that we don't see real love when its among us! 


Thursday, August 27, 2015

Book dividers

Book dividers 

Years ago I bought book dividers for my bible, from James Avery!  Even  using them a month the ribbon tore! 

  The ribbon torn and years in my drawer.  Moved from here to there because they are sterling silver, but what do you do with them?  I would resew  and  then they would tear and honestly it got old!   I would give up not wanting to loose the charms!  

So today I made these with stretchy ribbon!! 

I love them! 


I'm excited about finally enjoying these ribbon book dividers!  Excited! 

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Getting out of my own box!

If you tried once and it didn't work out.  Don't give up.  Try again.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Blue Jean bag

A friend of mine made this bag and I just loved it!  
She blessed me in teaching me how to make it! She also gave me consent to share it with you!  

The bag is real big!  It cares a full to queen size quilt!  Or just stuff it full and it can handle the weight! Made out of a Pair of blue jeans and pockets that excite the pocket lover!!! Just in the front of bag it has 5 pockets using different areas of the blue jeans!  I use this bag every weekend... Nothing like handmade! 

Friday, August 21, 2015

Feathering the Open Spine

Open spine

Determine to be successful so those that want evil for you can be ashamed.  When the children of Israel were hated by the Egyptians the more they were hated the more they multiplied.    Multiply in wisdom, in talent, in revelation, and in joy. 

Don't let no one turn off your light.  

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Love me some pillows

Pillows with mitered corner!

These were donated to the elderly sew group!  Two ladies win these.  They are wonderfully done by one lady who is 100 and another one who is 99 years  of age!


Thursday, July 30, 2015


Watercolor painting

It's my first time to play with watercolor paint!   It's been a weird yearning in my heart just to sit and draw and paint!  

I was uncomfortable trying something new, but as time went on I found that it was really fun!  I don't declare to be a pencil or paint brush artist!  I do feel I'm an artist that works with textiles and metals!   The truth is defining your self can hinder you from going into a different skill!  

It can box you in! I'm in a stage that the box that people say I should be in or the invisible box I have defined myself by has to be broken down!  

So that I can be the person that is without limits and restraint!  That's what freedom is! 

I would look at painting and desire to have and they weren't hard to make but I'm not an artist.  So don't try!   

But if I can make quits and and found that if I put effort even a little bit everyday!  Like I did in my Longarm quilting!  Now what I thought was hard is so easy to do!  

Then why not play with water color! 

For my first time !  I like it and next time I know it will be better!  

So try something new today !