Wednesday, April 8, 2015



I have been married 24 years. Sadly the loneliest times in my life have been in the Marriage! It's Kind of confusing. How could you be lonely and married? I guess it's because some how the other person hasn't heard the heart that was sharerd!  

Even somehow turned the tenderness of the words in to useful weapons.  When it convenient to throw a private assault. When one didn't expect the arrival of the same tender words becoming sharp arrow penetrating, piercing, and assaulting the soul.  

It seems in society we don't want to be alone.  We don't want to feel alone.  Is being alone bad?  Like this small boat!  We want many, much, abundance, and still super size it kind of life! 

We promote marriage without sharing that it is where you feel the loneliest.  The person that supported to be with you.  Doesn't even see you!  Not the physical you, but you! Your vision, your heart, your wounds, and to see you!  The word see means to behold!  

Jesus say who do you say I am?  He didn't ask strangers he ask those that were walking with him!  He ask those that followed him.  Those that proclaimed their love for him them the disciples! 

Everyone had an opinion. They didn't know him either!  Days and years and months together he saw that they didn't see Him! 

As I look out to this water I feel like Him unseen!  Unheard! Unknown!  

It really doesn't matter if your alone! Even when you with others in a crowded room you feel alone!  As I was watching the fisher man in his single boat all alone the sun (Son) is there. Hitting the water reflecting itself for the to sea and acknowledge they are seen.   

Shining a direct rippled road.  Making a path glistening. Allowing us to know he is there.  As the wind shifts the water revealing a path to himself! 

He even says, "Come if you are thirsty or hungry."  If your thirsty for peace, hungry for love, wanting to feel whole again, or just wanting to find who you really are called to be.  We think that if we marry, get a degree, do what everyone wants, please people, and do great things with ourselves that we will feel full internally.  Like you do when you have a great meal. Sadly after everything is said and done we are dissatisfied and don't understand.  Why am I not happy, whole, or even content?  I accomplished my goal.  I did what I thought would fix me.  I look accomplished and fixed but why do I still feel lost? 

The truth is the inner man, the spirit, the soul, the emotional heart, and the running mind can't be satisfied with external things.  Only Jesus can satisfy that place.  He will not allow anyone or anything to fix that place that is personal and sacred.  That place personally belongs to Him and only when we come to Him fully will we be whole. 

We can be married but single in the spirit of our heart.  Alone among many.  Until we Marry this savior is where oneness can be found.  Where loneliness dissolves and internal passion ignites.  Have you Married Him?  The Savior of you Soul.  The Bride Groom He is called. 

Your children can't fix your brokenness!  Your husband can't heal your childhood sadness.  Your wife can't determine your value.  Your job or boss can't determine your worth.  Whether we like it or not the hunger and thirst is internal.  Jesus says,  "Come I have what you need.  I know you." He even says, "In the womb he knows you." 

The beauty of who He is.  He himself has suffered our hardships.  Rejection, hated, persecuted, devastation, being an innocent victim, from us, and still He wants us.  Longs for Us.  Willing to be on the cross. 
Jesus even felt forsaken.  He cried it out on the cross! Why father have you forsaken me?  Don't you know I did this out of obedience to you and I feel more alone than ever!  The Father was there watching from afar!  Like I was watching the single fisher man from afar!  

So when you feel alone married to people who say they love you then crucify you.  Feeling the most alone.  Loving when your unloved, sacrificing yourself for them as they don't realize the cost, and enduring the sadness.  Know your  among great company!  Our savior suffered the same way! 

As you pay the price for others their is a true lover and husband Jesus.  He says he is "The Lover Of Your Soul!" 
Yes he says he is a "Lover." 

No comments:

Post a Comment